1. Disney World has canceled plans to fire 250 technology employees and replace them with foreigners with H-1B work visas. *** Apparently, when faced with the threat of termination the original employees swallowed their pride and agreed to wear mouse ears to work every day.
2. Malaysian authorities arrested ten tourists for taking nude photos on the peak of a sacred mountain, and many people there blamed the disrespectful act for the volcanic eruption that occurred a few days later. *** You ought to see what they do to create an earthquake.
3. A bottle of beer brewed for an 1875 expedition to the North Pole just sold at auction to a man in Scotland for $5,131. *** Afterwards, the buyer was quoted as saying, “I don’t always drink beer…but when I do, I pay really stupid money for it.”
4. According to a report by Americans for Tax Fairness, Wal-Mart avoided taxes on $76 billion of profits by sheltering the funds in shell companies in Europe. *** Investigators were able to find the shady operations by looking for office buildings that had a greeter in the lobby.
5. A man in Los Angeles has accused KFC of serving him a fried rat. *** KFC apologized for violating FDA regulations and immediately posted the meal’s caloric content.
6. Adult film star Jenna Jameson says she has found God. *** She claims he was at her latest premier--third row, center.
7. In Spokane, Washington, Rachel Dolezal resigned from her NAACP leadership position after it was revealed that her lineage is mostly German and Czech, not African-American. *** However, she did point out that her German relatives live in the Black Forest.
8. “Jurassic World” set a new box office opening weekend record. Audiences loved seeing the return of creatures that were thought to be extinct. *** Experts are saying this might be a good sign for some of the GOP presidential candidates.
9. With so many Republican presidential candidates, there is disagreement on how handle the August primary debate. *** Organizers are thinking of dropping the structured debate format and just going with open-mic night and a two drink minimum.
10. In the current issue of “Annals of Internal Medicine,” researchers say that talking with a therapist can help people sleep better. *** On the other hand, some people might not want a therapist in their bedroom.