1. A man in Lakeland, Florida says he tried to make a $7
billion fraudulent bank transfer because Jesus wanted him to be wealthy. *** No, Jesus just wanted him to be stupid.
2. A study by Exodus Travel says that Americans get their
second wind at age 56. *** Unfortunately, for most of us it’s a
headwind.
3. Leah Remini claims that the Church of Scientology has
designated John Travolta as a Khakhan, which gives him great power, and he can
even get away with murder. ***
However, there are limits. One thing the Church will not tolerate from
him is any attempt to bring back disco.
4. Kim Kardashian has announced that she’s starting a
book club. ***
Members don’t have to actually read each book--they just need to be
holding it when they take a selfie.
5. While arguing about consummating their marriage, a 76
year old man In Lehigh Acres, Florida shot his new bride in the butt. *** Experts say it’s the first time that Viagra
lasted longer than the marriage.
6. On this date in history: Feb 10, 1933 – Hitler
proclaims the end of Marxism. *** Groucho and
Harpo were furious.
7. On this date in history: Feb 9, 1987 – The New
York Stock Exchange installs a ladies restroom in the Exchange Luncheon
Club. *** That’s
important, because when the market tanks, men aren’t the only ones who need a
place to throw up.
8. On this
date in history: Feb 8, 1898 – John
Sherman patents the first automatic envelope folding & gumming
machine. *** He was subsequently honored as “Man of the Year” by the
American Junk Mail Association.
9. On this date in history: Feb 7, 1889 – Astronomical Society of the Pacific holds its first meeting
in San Francisco *** It had nothing to do with star gazing; it’s just that the dues were astronomical.
10. On this
date in history: Feb 6, 1996 – Heidi Fleiss, the “Hollywood Madam,”
begins a seven year sentence for running a prostitution ring for
celebrities. *** It’s hard to avoid jail time when your only
character witness is Charlie Sheen.
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