Friday, February 3, 2017

News for Week Ending Friday, Feb 3, 2017

1.   First Lady Melania Trump announced that she is expecting to move into the White House in three or four months.  ***  She blamed the delay on “a certain someone who is getting a bit carried away with that ‘extreme vetting’ thing.”

2.   For target practice, the Army is developing bullets that are environmentally friendly and may even contain seeds.  ***  In fact, many farmers are now planning to plant their next crops with an Uzi.

3.   President Trump has cancelled his planned tour of the Harley-Davidson factory in Milwaukee.  ***  He was anxious to connect with the workers, but refused to get the mandatory tattoo.

4.   Peter Ricketts, a former official in the British Foreign Office, said the prospect of protests outside the palace when President Trump comes to visit has put the queen in a "very difficult position."   ***  Hey, the lady is 90 years old. At that age, almost every position is difficult.

5.   This past weekend the Miss Universe contest was won by a 23 year old French dental student.  ***   The competition was intense;  the runner-up was a manicurist and they fought tooth and nail.

6.   On this date in history:  Feb 3, 1690The colony of Massachusetts issues the first paper money in America.   *** That was a big improvement. Previously, guys had to tuck loose change into the strippers’ G-strings.

7.   On this date in history:  Feb 2, 1964 – The GI Joe action figure makes its debut. ***  It was so realistic that if it broke you had to take it to a VA hospital.

8.   On this date in history:  Feb 1, 1864 – General Ulysses S. Grant, in an effort to outflank Confederate troops, initiates the ill-fated Battle of the Yazoo River.  ***  After that failure, President Lincoln sent him a message saying, “You idiot, I just said they had soldiers up the WAZOO.”

9.   On this date in history:  Jan 31, 1990The first McDonald's in Russia opens in Moscow.   ***  The Russian “Happy Meal” consisted of a Big Mac, fries, and a McVodka. 

10.  On this date in history:  Jan 30, 1894 – Charles King of Detroit patents the pneumatic hammer, commonly referred to as the “jackhammer.” ***  In deference to the inventor, shouldn’t it be called “chuckhammer”?

No comments:

Post a Comment