1. The NFL is planning to study marijuana for pain management. *** Of course, they’ll have to lift the restriction against smoking in the huddle.
2. Good news for Sean Spicer: He’s been invited to appear on “Dancing with the Stars.” *** The bad news: His partner will be a motorized podium.
3. The World Health Organization says that at least three people in the world have been infected with a new “superbug” strain of gonorrhea. *** Actually, only two cases have been confirmed, but they assume Charlie Sheen will make it three.
4. The Hallmark Channel has announced it will debut 33 new Christmas movies this year. *** But only 2 new plots.
5. According the show’s producers, Donald Trump once wanted to voice a character on “The Simpsons,” but was denied. *** In a clear act of revenge, the President recently revealed that that rejection is the only reason Homer isn’t the new Chief of Staff at the White House.
6. On this date in history: Aug 4, 1970 – Jim Morrison is arrested for drunkenness. *** He was seen stumbling up to people on the street and asking them to light his fire.
7. On this date in history: Aug 3, 1963 – Allan Sherman releases "Hello Mudda, Hello Fadda," a song about a camper’s letter to his folks. *** Of course, today he’d post his complaints on Facebook, send a text to his parents, and then contact Uber to come and take him home.
8. On this date in history: Aug 2, 1991 – Funk singer Rick James is arrested and accused of sexual torture. *** I believe he was eventually charged with 12 shades of grey.
9. On this date in history: Aug 1, 1991 – Actress Hedy Lamarr, 77, is arrested for shoplifting in Florida. *** Fortunately, it was before 4:00 P.M., so she qualified for a reduced fine under Florida’s “Early Bird Special” laws for seniors.
10. On this date in history: Jul 31, 1970 – Chet Huntley retires from NBC, ending the "Huntley-Brinkley Report." *** Actually, he quit in disgust when Brinkley wouldn’t stop trying to get his name first.