1. Authorities in London announced that “Big Ben” will be silent for the next four years while maintenance takes place on the clock’s mechanism and the bell. *** They also asked American tourists to please stop referring to it as “The Gong Show.”
2. After being found guilty of falsely selling rings under the Tiffany name, Costco has been ordered to pay Tiffany & Co. $19 million. *** And when women find out their “Tiffany” engagement rings were actually bought at Costco, their husbands will be paying for the rest of their lives.
3. In a speech to sailors on the USS Kentucky, Defense Secretary Jim Mattis praised them and said, “You won’t be laying on a shrink’s couch when you’re 45 years old asking, ‘What the hell did I do with my life?’ ” *** He said there’s no way that sort of therapy would ever be covered by VA benefits.
4. The international hacking group known as “Anonymous” has announced that it will begin attacking white supremacist websites. *** Well, Anonymous is really making a name for itself.
5. Kim Kardashian has been criticized for putting her 20-month old son, Saint, in a forward-facing car seat. *** I agree—the kid isn’t nearly old enough to see some of those outfits his mother wears. (Really, he should be in a rear-facing seat or, preferably, blindfolded.)
6. On this date in history: Aug 18, 1961 – Construction on the Berlin Wall is completed. *** Apparently they didn’t have a building permit, because a few years later some guy named Reagan told them to tear it down.
7. On this date in history: Aug 17, 1918 – Samuel Riddle buys Man o'War for $5,000. *** It’s interesting that there were no offers for the horse’s brother, Man o’Peace.
8. On this date in history: Aug 16, 1984 – A Los Angeles federal jury acquits auto maker John Z. DeLorean on cocaine charges. *** But, he was found guilty of the more serious charge of selling a car that was under-powered and over-priced.
9. On this date in history: Aug 15, 1620 – The Mayflower sets sail from Southampton with 102 Pilgrims. *** Not a bad turnout for the first cruise sold through Travelocity.
10. On this date in history: Aug 14, 1842 – The Seminole War ends and the Indians are relocated from Florida to Oklahoma. *** However, they were allowed to return to Florida after reaching the age of 65.