1. First Lady Melania Trump has just announced three new additions to her White House staff, including a communications coordinator. *** Hey, what marriage couldn’t use one of those?
2. Yesterday there was a two hour power outage and blackout at the big Consumers Electronics Show in Las Vegas. *** All the Millennials there hadn’t seen anything like that since their parents shut off power to the basement.
3. Yesterday a small fire broke out on the roof of Trump Tower. *** That’s a shame. Trump staffers had been specifically instructed to extinguish all cigarettes before jumping.
4. Dunkin’ Donuts has announced it will no longer use artificial food coloring. *** From now on, the colorful donut icing will be made from melted crayons.
5. McDonald’s has announced it may re-introduce the “Archburger,” an upscale hamburger made from fresh beef. *** In fact, it’s so exclusive McDonald’s will provide valet service for the drive-thru.
6. On this date in history: Jan 12, 1820 – The Royal Astronomical Society is founded in England. *** It was for people who love to use superlatives.
7. On this date in history: Jan 11, 1892 – Artist Paul Gauguin marries a 13-year-old Tahitian girl. *** Well, maybe he needed help with his computer.
8. On this date in history: Jan 10, 1949 – RCA introduces the 45 RPM record. *** I believe they reduced the speed from 78 RPM so you could read the label while it was spinning.
9. On this date in history: Jan 9, 1879 – Cheyenne prisoners revolt at Fort Robinson, led by an Indian known as “Dull Knife.” *** Actually, a lot of leaders aren’t the sharpest knife in the drawer, but usually they keep it secret.
10. On this date in history: Jan 8, 1993 – The Elvis Presley commemorative postage stamp goes on sale. *** It was the first stamp ever printed on black velvet.