News for Week Ending Friday, Jan 5, 2018

1.   Appalachian State trounced Toledo 34 to 0 in the “Dollar General Bowl.”  ***  Most fans didn’t mind the lopsided score, but they were really disappointed to find out they couldn’t buy beer for a buck.

2.   According to a study published in the journal “Psychological Bulletin,” many Millennials are sinking into depression because of an irrational pursuit of perfection.  ***   And then they get even more depressed if their depression isn’t perfect.

3.   On New Year’s Eve, 600 fireworks accidentally exploded in the trunk of a man’s car in Houston.  ***  Hundreds of drunken revelers were impressed: “Hey dude, awesome turn signal!”

4.   During a recent trip to London, Selena Gomez reportedly changed outfits six times in one day.   ***  Or maybe that was boyfriends.

5.   Florida police arrested celebrity Luann de Lesseps for battery of an officer and disorderly intoxication.  Ms. de Lesseps starred in “Real Housewives of New York" and is also noted for her music video, “Money Can't Buy You Class."   ***  In fact, during her arrest she showed that the song can be especially touching when sung while disheveled, handcuffed and throwing up in the back seat of a police car.

6.   According to Google, the most frequently asked question about sex is, “Where is the G-spot?”  ***  The second most popular question is, “Wait a minute--are you sure the “G” really stands for “Google”?

7.   On this date in history:  Jan 5, 1531 – Pope Clemens VII forbids English king Henry VIII to re-marry.  ***   So, when you join Match.com, make sure you pay a little extra and get the optional Vatican Approval app. 

8.   On this date in history:  Jan 4, 1925 – French psychologist Emil Coué brings his self-esteem therapy to U.S. with the philosophy "Every day, in every way, I am getting better and better."   ***    “Because I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone, people like me.”

9.   On this date in history:  Jan 3, 1924 – After several years of searching, British Egyptologist Howard Carter finally finds the tomb of King Tutankhamun, commonly known as King Tut.  ***  Mr. Carter immediately broke into an impromptu song-and-dance routine that was later immortalized by Steve Martin.  

10.  On this date in history:  Jan 2, 1960 – Senator John F. Kennedy announces his candidacy for president at a press conference in Washington D.C.   ***  These days, of course, he would have just used Twittah.