1. Because of an outbreak of measles, the Scientology
cruise ship “Freewinds” was quarantined for several days in St. Lucia. *** It was terrible; passengers had to stay
onboard and were forced to spend the entire week watching a Tom Cruise movie
marathon.
2. In a
recent interview, 88 year old Warren Buffet, who’s worth $87 billion, said he
drinks five cans of Coca-Cola every day, eats Chicken McNuggets at least three
times a week and loves Dairy Queen for dessert. *** Of
course, it’s easier to have that kind of diet when you can get a quadruple
by-pass and pay cash.
3. Meghan and Harry just had a baby boy, and experts
say he is 7th in line to the British throne. ***
That’s nice, but he’s only 38th in line for the most
prestigious pre-school.
4. In a protest against campus fraternities,
students at Swarthmore College have gone on a hunger strike. *** Sing along:
“Cass was a sophomore, planned to go to Swarthmore, but she changed her mind
one day-y-y-y…” Probably because she
heard about their hunger strikes.
5. Last Sunday was the big Cinco de Mayo holiday in
Mexico. *** And, in a spirit of international friendship,
U.S. border patrol agents chasing illegal immigrants gave all of them a ten
minute head start.
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