1. According
to a federal report issued yesterday, life expectancy in the U.S. has increased
for the first time in four years. *** Unfortunately,
the government added a footnote explaining that “life expectancy” isn’t WHAT
you can expect to get out of life, just WHEN.
2. In its
latest update, the Oxford English Dictionary has added 29 common Nigerian words
and expressions, such as "next tomorrow," which means the day after
tomorrow. *** For
example: “I promise to ship you the gold bars next tomorrow.”
3. To encourage
motorists to reduce their speed in work zones, Pennsylvania officials have begun
a "pre-enforcement" period and are using hi-tech electronics to
monitor speeding in those areas. *** And to
make sure drivers see that they’re approaching a work zone, the system will
automatically send them a text.
4. Senate
Democrats say information from a manuscript shows that John Bolton should
immediately be called to testify, but the Republicans are divided on what to
do. *** Half of
them want to wait for the book and the other half want to wait for the movie.
5. Fran
Drescher—the former “Nanny” star—says she is not actively dating but does have
a “friend with benefits.” *** If she
still has that screechy, whiny, annoying Nanny voice, then I’m guessing her
gentleman friend a) was deaf when he met her, or b) soon became deaf, or c) now
wishes he was deaf.
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