Friday, February 7, 2020

News Humor for Week Ending Friday, Feb 7, 2020

1.   New federal data shows a dramatic increase in the number of students who are homeless.   ***  Sadly, researchers conducting the survey had to tell students that “home” is not the place you go to by clicking on the little icon in the shape of a house.

2.   Immediately after Prince Harry and Meghan stepped down from their royal duties, Queen Elizabeth took away their royal titles.  ***  In the past, that sort of thing required an official proclamation, but now she was able to just go to their Facebook page and click on “Unroyal.”

3.   John Roth, the mayor of Mahwah, New Jersey, has admitted to getting drunk at a staff party and then taking off his trousers and crawling into an employee's bed.  ***  Or, as they call it in New Jersey, “campaigning.”

4.   According to a recently filed lawsuit, the discredited self-help group Nxivm didn’t just lure clients into a “sex cult,” but also forced them into some sort of “pyramid scheme.”  ***  Gee, I bet that made the sex part somewhat difficult.   

5.   In South Africa, investigators discovered that the passenger who attacked three British Airways flight attendants and shattered glassware after being denied six Bloody Marys had been on her way to a rehab clinic.  ***  The pilot later apologized and said if he had known that’s where she was headed he would have dropped her off.

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