Saturday, February 15, 2020

News Humor for Week Ending Friday, Feb 14, 2020


1.   A British writer, Ellen Scott, recently coined the term “Valentighting,” which she says is “the heartbreaking act of dumping someone right before Valentine’s Day because you’re too much of a tightwad to buy them a gift.”  ***  How sad (sniff, sniff)…think of all the beautiful relationships that could have been saved if only the guy had found a really good coupon.

2.   To help identify and delete “fake news,” Facebook announced it will be using news agency Reuters to fact-check posted content.   ***   In a sternly-worded message, Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg warned that seniors claiming to have the world’s most beautiful grandchildren better have proof.

3.   Queen Elizabeth recently gave Prince William, the Duke of Cornwall, the additional title of “Lord High Commissioner to the General Assembly of the Church of Scotland.”   ***   She also told the royal staff to order extra-large name tags for the next Buckingham Palace meet-and-greet.

4.   Cindy Crawford’s son, Presley Gerber, just got a new face tattoo under his right eye, the word “MISUNDERSTOOD.”  ***  Actually, that was suggested by his publicist, who thought it would be better than Presley’s original choice, “LYING DOG-FACED PONY SOLDIER.”

5.   A family is suing American Airlines after they were kicked off a recent flight following passenger complaints of offensive body odor.  ***  Meanwhile, Homeland Security announced it is reconsidering its plan to expand the TSA Pre-Check program with TSA Pre-Sniff.

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