1. In this week’s Senate hearings, epidemiologists testified that
some of their scientific findings and warnings are being dismissed by people in
power.
*** They also complained that whenever
they go to the cafeteria someone steals their lunch money.
2. Vatican finance officials say COVID-related restrictions are stifling
sources of income and having a negative impact on the Church’s coffers. *** In a compassionate gesture, a White House
spokesperson offered sympathy, and suggested that the coffers be put in
quarantine.
3. Martha Stewart is adapting to mandatory “stay home” time and posted
a picture of her reorganized kitchen pantry, with 27 types of olive oil on the
top shelf, countless cooking ingredients on the middle shelves, and about 20
bottles of liquor at the bottom. *** That’s
great--now she can easily grab another bottle of booze when she crawls to the
pantry after finishing the first one.
4. According to the journal “Wound Management and Prevention,” medical
professionals often suffer discomfort and dangerous skin abrasions from continually
wearing face masks that are held on by elastic bands over the ears. *** And in England, there have been reports that
a certain member of the Royal Family wears that type, but requires the help of
two Buckingham Palace Guards to put it on.
5. The Polar Cave Ice Cream Parlour in Mashpee, Massachussets
closed one day after re-opening because customers refused to pre-order and
instead just showed up and yelled profanities at the staff when they weren’t
served.
*** Gee, I remember the days when
“I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream” was just a cute verse, not
a social norm.
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