Friday, May 23, 2014

Friday, May 23, 2014

1.        The New Jersey state assembly passed a gun control bill and is sending it to Governor Chris Christie for his signature.   ***  The Governor is expected to approve the measure, which limits weapons to non-automatic rifles, pistols with small-capacity magazines and orange traffic cones.

2.        Office Depot is recalling 1.4 million chairs because a broken weld could cause the seat to fall off. ***  And in extreme cases, the office worker sitting in the chair might actually wake up.

3.        Security forces at an Air Force base in Montana failed a simulated exercise in which a nuclear missile silo had been seized.   ***  Officials were unhappy with the base’s emergency response, which was, “Call Jack Bauer.”

4.        Republicans are complaining that the designation of a half million acres near the Mexico border as a national park will weaken security efforts.  ***  But Democrats point out that illegal immigrants, drug smugglers and human traffickers who cross the border at that point will now have to pay an annual park fee.

5.        The principal of a Catholic elementary school in Philadelphia has apologized for using a photo of Ellen DeGeneres on invitations to the school’s graduation dance.   ***   She said that Ellen is a poor role model and might encourage improper behavior—you know, like having a dance at an elementary school.

6.        China and Russia have signed a 30-year natural gas deal worth $400 billion.  ***  Russia has agreed to sell the gas at market prices and China has agreed not to laugh at pictures of Vladimir Putin riding horses bare-chested.

7.        Officials in Brazil are trying to reassure World Cup soccer fans that all major airports will be operational even though some of the upgrades are not complete.   ***  For example, arriving passengers will still need to use the emergency slides for de-planing. (And instead of luggage carousels, workers will take the bags off the plane and carry them around in circles.)

8.        A Mississippi man has been sentenced to 25 years in prison for mailing a letter laced with poison to President Obama.  ***  Plus one additional year for insufficient postage.

9.        The top movie at the box office this weekend was the terrifying monster film “Godzilla.”   ***  But, it wasn’t nearly as scary as the new movie about falling home prices, “God-Zillow.”

10.     A 102 year old woman was given spin around the Indianapolis 500 racetrack by Mario Andretti at 180 mile per hour.  Afterwards, she said she wanted to hit 200.  *** I’m not sure if she was talking about the speed or her age.

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