1. According to a study published in the British Medical Journal, drinking red wine is only beneficial for men between 50 and 64, and for women age 65 and over. *** You gotta admit, at 65 years old, Bruce Jenner’s timing is impeccable.
2. At Pebble Beach’s iconic 18th hole, pro golfer Mark Hubbard suddenly got down on one knee and proposed to his girlfriend. *** Everyone was shocked. It’s the only time a golfer ever knelt down and didn’t pray for a putt to drop in.
3. In Dallas, the mother of a 13 year-old pummeled a driver fleeing police after he ran into the back of their mini-van. *** I guess she’s a “socker mom.”
4. A poll shows that bringing back the Joe Paterno statue at Penn State is supported by 71% of all Pennsylvanians *** and 100% of the pigeons.
5. It has come to light that the woman who planned to marry Charles Manson just wanted to make money by putting his body on display after his death. *** I believe the legal term is “corpus dinero.”
6. Kyle Kraska, a TV sports anchor in San Diego, was wounded when a gunman shot up his car. *** Police subsequently received a phone call from another newscaster, a Mr. Williams, who claims to have been a passenger at the time.
7. AMC Theaters is asking audiences to not bring props like whips and other S&M items to showings of “Fifty Shades of Grey.” *** Oh. I was just going to bring my black and white crayons.
8. A survey by the American Psychological Association found that 72% of American adults are stressed out about money. *** That’s really disturbing. That means 28% of the people in this country have a drug problem.
9. The airport in Stockholm, Sweden may become a U.S. “clearance airport,” at which passengers can clear U.S. customs before their long flight to the United States. *** The idea is to process them while they still look like their passport photo.
10. Pope Francis says spanking is OK. *** As long as it’s between consenting adults.