1.
The IRS says that
because of budget constraints taxpayers have the lowest chance of being audited
in the past decade. *** In
fact, Turbo Tax will now automatically bump up your calculated refund if you
just click the “I Feel Lucky” box.
2.
Nike is bringing back
the “Classic Cortez” running shoe that was worn by Tom Hanks in “Forrest Gump.” ***
Each pair comes with a box of chocolates, a ping-pong paddle and a
bucket of shrimp.
3.
Russia is planning
military drills near the border with Latvia and Estonia. *** Soldiers
will practice invading those countries and Vladimir Putin will practice denying
it.
4.
In recent military exercises,
the Iranian navy attacked a mock-up of a U.S. aircraft carrier. *** To
make the carrier very realistic, they built it with schedule delays, cost over-runs
and bribes.
5.
According to a study
published in the Archives of Diseases in Children, kids should stop taking naps
when they reach the age of two.
*** I believe the study was
conducted by five students in a local kindergarten.
6.
The World Wildlife Fund
says the Amur leopard is making a comeback, and after analyzing trail camera
photos of their unique fur patterns, scientists have concluded there are now at
least 60 of the rare leopards. *** Unless they actually can change their spots,
in which case there might only be three.
7.
The NBC medical drama
“The Night Shift” returns for a second season, in which two of the doctors will
ramp up their romance ***
while valiantly trying to save patients who are only on the Bronze Plan.
8.
Two actors in Thailand
were sentenced to 2 ½ years in prison for putting on a play that defamed the
ruling monarchy. ***
Here in the U.S. we have a different way of making the people in power
look bad. It’s called the six o’clock news.
9.
At the Oscar
presentations, John Travolta was criticized for getting a little too
touchy-feely with Idina Menzel and Scarlett Johansson. ***
After all, this is the Academy Awards, not some sleazy sideshow where
you’d expect that sort of thing--like Joe Biden at a White House ceremony.
10. Doctors at the Wexner Medical Center at The Ohio State
University say that seniors can prevent falls by taking ten simple steps. *** Actually,
they’re safer if they don’t take any steps at all.
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