1. French farmers have been blocking major highways to protest depressed prices on agricultural products—especially milk—caused by low cost imports. *** They’re accusing the Chinese of using underage cows.
2. A 72 year-old man in Florida was shot and wounded while trying to protect some turtles from a deranged attacker. *** Police say he was shot just as he began shouting, “Run!”
3. In Peru, Indians from the reclusive Mashco Piro tribe have begun venturing out of the forest for food and machetes. *** President Obama has sent John Kerry to negotiate a treaty and limit them to sharp objects for peaceful purposes. (Mr. Obama said, “Sure, today they want machetes, but tomorrow it could be uranium enrichment and before you know it…”)
4. Chrysler has come up with a security fix after finding that hackers could access the electronics on new Jeeps. *** “Honest officer, some guy in China downshifted my vehicle and floored the accelerator.”
5. Hackers of the Ashley Madison website for married people seeking affairs said that the people registered there were “cheating dirtbags.” *** Although it’s uncertain whether anyone actually included those words in their profile.
6. It has just been announced that Miley Cyrus will be hosting the MTV Music Awards. *** She’s already thinking about what clothes to not wear.
7. Actor Theodore Bikel, who starred as Trevye in more than 2,000 stage performances of “Fiddler on the Roof,” has died at the age of 91. *** The viewing will be open to anyone willing to climb a really high ladder.
8. The TV movie “Sharknado 3” is based on an unbelievable premise. *** That people will watch it.
9. In response to Native Americans walking off the set of his movie, “The Ridiculous Six,” Adam Sandler says there was no intent to mock Indian stereotypes. *** But he said he was upset that they disrupted production by dancing and making it rain for two weeks.
10. Researchers at Northwestern University say that “sensor data” in smart phones can indicate when the user is depressed. *** For example, if the sensors detect that the phone has been thrown against a wall.