Friday, August 21, 2015

News for Week Ending Friday, Aug 21, 2015

1.        A study in Denmark has shown that men who are constantly nagged are more likely to die prematurely.  ***   Ah, God is merciful.

2.        Lindsay Lohan is being sued by her former driver who claims that she owes him $28,000.  ***  And that was just for trips to the courthouse.

3.        Starbucks plans to expand its offerings, including bacon-wrapped dates.  ***  I can’t believe anyone would want their date wrapped in bacon.

4.        According to a survey by Visa, the average amount children get from the “Tooth Fairy” has dropped in each of the past two years.  ***  Of course, this trend is an opportunity to let kids know the truth:  You should always check the fine print to make sure your guaranteed benefits are indexed to the rate of inflation.

5.        At the Iowa State Fair a little boy asked Donald Trump if he was Batman.  ***  Well, that’s Trump’s version of the encounter.  Actually, the kid asked him if he’s been living in a cave.

6.        Hilary Clinton was doing a little campaigning in Las Vegas.  ***  It was an appropriate venue for announcing her new campaign slogan:  What happens in Benghazi stays in Benghazi.

7.        The president of WalMart says that a major reason for the recent drop in profits was increased losses due to theft, but he promised a quick response.  ***  Unfortunately, it involves 80 year-old greeters with sidearms.

8.        Starbucks is making plans to serve alcoholic drinks in the evenings.  ***  Good luck.  It’s hard enough to order a Starbucks beverage when you’re sober.

9.        Two Michigan hospitals are taking part in clinical trials of a new device to treat high blood pressure.   ***  It connects to your TV and blocks out all the political ads.

10.     A thief in Westland, Michigan struck a senior living facility for the second time, again stealing several TV’s.   ***  Boy, is he going to be ticked when he finds out they only show The Weather Channel, Home Shopping Network and re-runs of Matlock.

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