1. In New York City a woman gave birth to a baby girl in the backseat of an Uber car. *** Now, how is that kid going to feel when she grows up and finds out that Mom was too cheap to give birth in the backseat of a real taxi?
2. Researchers at Purdue University say that when urine and chlorine combine they make the kind of toxic compounds that are used in chemical weapons. *** So, their advice is obvious: If you ever have the urge to pee in a swimming pool, get out and stand at the edge.
3. A 9 year old girl complained that pajama bottoms sold by Vineyard Vines were called “lounge pants” for boys but “lazy pants” for girls, so the store changed the names. *** In the interest of political correctness, now they’re both called “Denali.”
4. Some people are skeptical, but Poland’s Deputy Culture Minister said he is “99%” sure that two fortune hunters really have found the legendary Nazi-era “gold train” loaded with treasures. *** Is he related to the guy who was 99% sure that Hitler was just coming for a short visit?
5. In effort to attract more shoppers, Kroger is installing beer taps in some of its stores. *** And, hopefully, a few more restrooms.
6. At the MTV music awards show, Kanye West announced that he was running for president, but later explained that he had smoked some pot before announcing his candidacy. *** Unlike all the other presidential candidates, who had no excuse whatsoever.
7. President Obama is going to appear on the wilderness reality show Running Wild With Bear Grylls, in which he and Mr. Grylls will travel throughout Alaska, *** renaming all the national monuments along the way.
8. According to an article in the journal Pharmacology, some prescription drugs can cause depression. *** For example, if they’re really expensive.
9. Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker is proposing construction of a wall at the U.S.- Canada border. *** Canada says they’ll pay for it.
10. In Detroit, someone fired 20 shots from a high powered rifle into the home of an 84 year old woman. *** Lesson for seniors: Be careful when you order that $99 air conditioning.