1. A 40 year old Nigerian man known only as “Mike” has been arrested and charged with perpetrating over $60 million worth of internet scams. *** He was released, however, when he promised to send authorities an undisclosed number of gold bars.
2. Scientists have found that Australia has been moving at a rate of 2.75 inches each year. *** In fact, they say that by the year 3000 the Outback will be out front.
3. A man in Dallas, Georgia was arrested last weekend for having sex with a goat. *** Down in Georgia there’s a lot of concern about incest, so at least he had the decency to first make sure that he and the goat weren’t related.
4. Workplace expert Lynn Taylor has identified a dozen words and phrases that make a person seem untrustworthy or less intelligent. *** Number one on the list: “I’m running for president.”
5. According to the top health official in Rio, recent data indicates the Zika virus should no longer be a concern for people coming to the Olympics. *** He said the latest numbers show that the muggers and kidnappers will probably get you first.
6. On this date in history: Aug 5, 1981 – President Regan fires 11,500 air traffic controllers. *** Of course, first he checked with Nancy to make sure she didn’t have any big trips planned.
7. On this date in history: Aug 4, 1693 – Dom Perignon invents champagne. *** Of course, he didn’t sell any until people had something to celebrate.
8. On this date in history: Aug 3, 1963 – The Beatles play their final performance at the Cavern Club in Liverpool. *** But they always remembered their roots, and even on the Ed Sullivan Show they insisted that the audience have a two drink minimum.
9. On this date in history: Aug 2, 1939 – The Hatch Act prohibits political activity by federal workers. *** Apparently there was later legislation that went a step further and prohibited ALL activity by federal workers.
10. On this date in history: Aug 1, 1774 – Joseph Priestly discovers oxygen. *** I wonder what people breathed before that?