1. A study by researchers at Michigan State University found that family and friendships are very important to achieving happiness in life. *** In fact, the study said those relationships are almost as important as winning football games.
2. After a 30 year study, researchers at the University of Oxford and University College London have concluded that the brain can suffer long term impairment from moderate drinking. *** And that’s why I never stop at “moderate.”
3. Police outside the Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris shot and wounded a man after he attacked them with a hammer. *** In order to prevent incidents like that in the United States, President Trump has expanded his proposed travel ban to include countries that have a lot of carpenters.
4. According to a study published in “Food and Chemical Toxicology,” it’s not safe to have more than four cups of caffeinated coffee each day. *** Researchers conducted the study by sneaking up on various coffee drinkers and yelling “Boo!”
5. Charlie Sheen took his latest girlfriend, Jules, to his 12 year-old daughter’s birthday party. *** Ah, kids grow up so fast. It’s hard to believe that in just a few short years Charlie’s daughter will be older than most of his girls he dates.
6. On this date in history: Jun 9, 1931 – The first Donald Duck cartoon is shown. *** Thank goodness Mickey Mouse was more popular—otherwise TV would be showing “The Donald Duck Club,” with kids wearing fake bills over their mouths.
7. On this date in history: Jun 8, 1917 – Walt Disney graduates from high school. *** However, for the commencement ceremony they made him finally take off those silly mouse ears.
8. On this date in history: Jun 7, 1769 – Daniel Boone begins exploring Kentucky. *** However, he reportedly never made it past the first bourbon distillery.
9. On this date in history: Jun 6, 1882 – The electric iron is patented by Henry W. Seely. *** Unfortunately, that’s not what Mrs. Seely had in mind when she asked Henry to help with the ironing.
10. On this date in history: June 5, 1855 – The Know-Nothing political party holds its first convention *** Unfortunately, it was poorly attended because no one knew where or when it was.