1. According to a study at the University of
Iowa, a daily serving of fried chicken will increase your risk of any early
death by 13%. *** Of
course, that percentage is a lot higher if you’re the chicken.
2. In a new biography of Eva Braun, the
author claims Ms. Braun never had sex with Hitler because of pain due to a rare
gynecological condition. *** Apparently when dealing with a Fuehrer you
have to come up with something better than just a headache.
3. After having an accident with his SUV, 97
year old Prince Philip is scheduled to take a “driver awareness” class.
*** Senior Awareness Lesson #1: “If
there’s a steering wheel is in front of you, you’re probably the driver.”
4. In Texas, a woman has been banned from the
Wichita Falls Walmart after she spent several hours driving an electric cart
around the parking lot while drinking wine from a Pringles can.
*** Or, as several Walmart
shoppers described it, “fashionable travel mug.”
5. In the obituary for an 87 year old
Louisville woman, her family added the comment, “Her passing was hastened by her continued frustration with
the Trump administration.”
*** After intense criticism, the
family later admitted that the Trump administration did not actually hasten her
death—it just made her look forward to it.
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