1. Treasury
Secretary Steven Mnuchin is being criticized for implying that a $1,200
stimulus check can cover a person’s expenses for 10 weeks. *** Weeks,
shmeeks--As a home-confined, recliner-sitting, TV-watching retiree, here’s my
math question: How many limited-time, TV-only, 2-for-the-price-of-1 offers for ONLY
$19.95 will I be able to order? (Please
hurry, Mr. Mnuchin, I need my check NOW! Operators are standing by!)
2. According
to a recent news report, Michael Cohen, Donald Trump’s former lawyer currently
serving time in a federal prison, was placed in solitary confinement. *** And
now, millions of stressed-out men are still trying to convince their wives that
they did not mutter, “Lucky guy.”
3. As
home confinement continues to be a challenge for most Americans, therapists say
it’s helpful if we vary our day-to-day routines. *** For
example, for me it’s Sundays: wine; Monday: bourbon; Tuesday: beer; etc. That’s
not the booze I drink each day—it’s just the one I start with.
4. Michigan
was hit with high winds yesterday, and in anticipation of those conditions the
governor’s office issued a temporary change to the 6-foot social distancing
requirement when outdoors. *** You only need to stay 6 inches away from the
other person if you’re upwind, but 60 feet if you’re down.
5. Michigan
Governor Gretchen Whitmer has extended the “Stay home” executive order, which
prohibits driving anywhere unless it’s for specified exceptions, such as
“medical supplies,” “gasoline” and “outdoor physical activity.” *** You
know, Ben & Jerry’s could make life really interesting when they name their
next new flavors…
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