Monday, April 6, 2020

News Humor for Week Ending Friday, Apr 3, 2020


1.   President Trump has granted Michigan Governor Whitmer’s request to use National Guard troops and equipment for humanitarian missions, such as food distribution.  ***  Seriously, that’s great news! It comforts Michigan’s home-bound seniors to know that if there’s ever a problem with Meals on Wheels there will always be Snacks on Tracks.

2.   Sociologists are saying that even though long periods of home confinement due to COVID-19 can be challenging for families, one bright spot is that we’re all re-learning how to communicate with each other face-to-face.  ***  In fact, just this morning I said to my wife, ”Since we played Monopoly yesterday, let’s play Parcheesi today.   Send.”

3.   These days, it seems more and more people are quoting that old saying, “A man hears what he wants to hear.”  ***  You know, there’s a lot of truth to that. For example, when I heard that phrase last week I thought someone had finally developed a better hearing aid.

4.   Law enforcement authorities are warning seniors of the “Hey, Grandma” telephone scam in which the caller pretends to be a grandchild, says they are in desperate need of money, and gives instructions on where to send it. *** Well, you gotta admire the scammer's initiative; that’s a lot of work for five bucks and a Dollar Store birthday card.

5.   Many health experts are now urging all of us to purchase our needed goods online and, when the package is delivered, leave it in the garage for 2 or 3 days.   ***  Note to family and friends:  This year our Thanksgiving dinner will start on a Monday. Please enter through the garage.

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