Friday, April 10, 2020

News Humor for Week Ending Friday, Apr 10, 2020


1.   On CNN, Dr. Sanjay Gupta showed how to use materials found around the house to make an effective mask.  ***  I tried it, but it didn’t work; my wife still recognized me.

2.   When asked how to prevent future viral outbreaks, Dr. Fauci said, "As a society, just forget about shaking hands. We don't need to shake hands. We've got to break that custom."  ***  Hmmm….Sounds like he’s still bitter about the time the playground bully offered to shake hands and then did that old “Shake…spear…kick in the rear” trick.

3.   In a rental car parking area near the Southwest Florida International Airport, several cars caught on fire, and by the time firemen arrived, 100 cars were burning; within hours the blaze had destroyed 3,516 rental cars.   ***   Wow—I had no idea air freshener was that flammable. 

4.   Because we don’t know how long the “Stay Home” restrictions will remain in place and what the availability of food and supplies will be during that time, it’s difficult to figure out how much to stockpile.   ***  FEMA said it’s not important how much we have—just make sure we run out of food before we run out of toilet paper.

5.   As we all struggle to cope with home confinement, staking out “His” and “Hers” areas may seem to indicate a dangerous level of stress, but Dr. Orna Guralnik, a therapist featured on Showtime’s “Couple’s Therapy,” says having separate spaces actually reduces stress, and “anything that can create…boundaries…is really good for us.”   ***  However, she did say it’s a bit worrisome when stressed-out couples start marking those boundaries with their last remaining roll of toilet paper.

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